Beast Boy's Realization
by Soul Angsts
Summary: Reality bites. The true relationship of Garfield and Rachel Logan and their children. [BBxRae] No other pairings. Pure BBxRae for your viewing pleasure.
1. Chapter 1

**A Look Into The Future of Beast Boy and Raven**

Beast Boy has become more cynical as he watches his third child succumb to the debilitating deformities that his genes have had with the demon part of Raven's. The first has problems keeping his animal instincts combined with his demon blood-thirst from taking over his shattered personality. No amount of meditation or practiced control spent with him can control his double-whammy.

They have resorted to tying him up every night - but, even now as he is getting older, Beast Boy and Raven are wondering how long they will be able to do this. The second child, his twin, has permanently become a condor-like bird with horns and hides in her room for days, only coming out at the coaxing of her mom. Now, the third child, an unwanted pregnancy born from their desperate hour of comfort, brings more tears.

He tries hard but the demon in him is so strong and urged by his animalistic instincts that his body is forced to go through many transformations in a day that has now taxed his system. In the process, he has become weak and lives in constant pain.

This is enough to put a strain on the strongest of relationships but their's has been nudged and pushed by their friends. Without understanding what they wanted for themselves or the full effects, they allowed their friends to make them a couple since their friends thought they looked cute together. They both knew, but who were they to argue with their friends. Everybody believe that it is the best match and made them into the little pets of the group.

The dignity they have attained as individuals is awash by this sick union. Beast Boy, the strong, confident, funny man who can make jokes and transform at the same time. Raven the dark enchantress who can wield magic and look good at the same time. Where did it go wrong?

Raven's cynicism and constant need for darkness finally wore on Beast Boy's lighter, jovial nature. At his breaking point, he stop finding Raven just being Raven to finally see her for how she really views him. To have your wife not respect you is enough to destroy you. The one person you should count on in life has no faith in you - totally set Beast Boy on a dangerous road of self-mutilation and self-hate.

As for Raven, she manages his taunts just like all other difficulties in life with meditation and poise until the day she lost her powers - she looks back now and sees this is her source of pride. In the past, there is somebody to act as mediator between them - Cyborg, Starfire, Robin so that she can have her peace of mind and meditate. However, now that they are husband and wife - living 24/7 together without someone to mediate, he has become a constant presence that is always trying to get her to react. Beast Boy is not at fault since he needs a lot of attention, look at all the time Cyborg spends on him.

However, what is good for one is not good for the other. This constant pressures finally took a toll on her so that she started to fall apart, then her emotions, followed by her powers. They have had to purge her of the Soulself with difficulty and nearly cost her her life but needed if she is to stay with Beast Boy and not harm anyone.

Beast Boy disappears for days, Raven knows where he goes but is too pained to say anything. She has become a hollow husk looking like her haggard version of herself - no beauty, no shape, nothing else. Starfire looks at her in pity. One time, she hid from Robin not wanting to see him - see her like this. He persists and he comes to have her cry on his shoulder. Since when does Raven cry - but, seeing your children dealt such a cruel blow from life is enough to make even the hardest demon mother cry.

Stripped of dignity and her powers, Raven has made much harsher and cutting remarks that now Beast Boy just ignores her. He needs emotional warmth and expression in his life and just sees a stone cold uncaring statue in Raven. He never thought in a million years he would marry the girl he thought was creepy, a freak - yeah, look at our kids (freakshows) and scary. So, he's been looking elsewhere. Cyborg, his best buddy, can't believe what has happened to his friend. He thought Beast Boy would be a great family man; instead, he avoids his children like the plague and grows more disillusioned every day. His buddy is so depressed, he has aged, has less sheen to his straggly coat of hair, and harder in features.

Poor Beast Boy, Poor Raven - one wrong decision (although, others may say they had a choice) and now they will always pay the price.

There is only sorrow and pain in the household now - if there is a joke to be made that would be lost in that home unless, of course, a sadistic spectator who enjoys seeing the suffering of others. Recently, the third child died from heart trauma and the second child committed suicide, and the first child is in an asylum.

Beast Boy is in an animal prison for going berserk.

Raven has locked herself in an abandoned room.

_**- Flashback -**_

_**"Don't tell me I'm not creepy." Raven sadly replies.**_

_**"Okay I won't. You're WAY creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked up in your room reading your nasty little books. You have friends here." Beast Boy replies.**_

_**The door suddenly opens, revealing a pained Raven to hug Beast Boy.**_

_**"Raven, whats the huggies for?", Beast Boy is surprised.**_

_**At this moment Cy throws a stink ball smack on Beast Boy's face. Raven levitates it up and menacingly asks:**_

_**"So who wants to play stink ball?"**_

_Raven looks back at Beast Boy and Beast Boy looks at Raven - "Friends?", "No, Family! That's what that hugs for?_


	2. Chapter 2

Teen Titans is not owned by this Writer.

* * *

A desperate shrill can be heard from an old, run-down, dilapidated apartment building. Here in the dark - the boy, no the man, sits at the side of his bed holding his head in his hands. 

'Why..? Why am I- Ihere...What did I ever do so bad..?' He questions the darkness that has become his unwanted companion.

Too painful to answer and reflect on the difficult road that has been assigned to him.

He slowly walks over to the bathroom to stare into a balding, wrinkled face with a hardened demeanor and vacant eyes and begins the humiliating ritual to evade the animal police.

He picks up the razor and wonders for a moment (never in his youth would he even think what is easily fleeting across his mind), then shaves off the hair from his stringy arms, back, beer-bellied chest, langy legs, and all of his dry razor-marked body. He steps back and turns into a shaven monkey (more like lab experiment) hanging by his tail from the ceilings light bulb.

As he checks on any he might have missed, he sees the lost boy staring stronger within his monkey form and wants so much to save him- but, how can he save himself? Then, the second part of his ritual is performed with such familiarity.

He squeezes a few drops into the decrepit bath tub and starts the water that turns into a rich brown hue. He raises his arm and sees the green shade breaking through the thinly scattered brown patches and wonders if he should push Cyborg to make the coloring more permanent or finding a stronger dye to finally combat this sickly mixing of green and brown.

This makes him expel his empty stomach to the state of his horrible existence- 'I love my green. I used to be ready to defend my green with a grin and a joke - now, I have to hide in fear. She makes me fear the world.'

He steps into the chocolate brown mixture and turns into one of the biggest animal walrus in this case, the tub can take so that there is more skin coverage. The light-bulb cracks and sends the tense walrus that has been attempting to relax to jump in fear at the engulfing dark as his eyes dart all around, looking for the shadow of his tortured mind.

Yes, the nightmare begins again.

Rage has come for her regular nightly visit- "So, enjoying your bubble bath, loser? How about I offer some mood-altering visions for a nightcap?" With that she has the murky water bubble and he can swear he felt something shifting in the water as slimy tentacles rise from the depths and encircle his limbs.

He turns his tired face away with the ghastliest of expressions but to his surprise there is no more sound that can be drawn from his embattled self.

* * *

In another part of town, Rachel has just buried two children- her daughter and her baby son. She has spent her whole life avoiding relationships in fear that she would have to face the possibility of her worst nightmare- her children suffering and dying before her very eyes. 

She drops to the barren, dirt yard of her bland ranch home. Alone- she has always embraced this concept since she never really felt space 'alone' but rather one with the world. On this particular day, alone has abandoned her and left her empty. Her thoughts swim to the forefront undeterred and recreate those fateful nights as if she is living through them once more.

Flashback

"Garfield, please, I need you." Rachel dispairs.

"So? You've always said that you can do everything on your own, right? Besides, I just mess things up since I'm an 'idiot'." Garfield is now screaming to his surprise.

"Fine. Go and hide- you've made yourself perfectly clear."

"Yeah, whatever." He leaves. Rachel stares at the door he left from and wonders at the truth that he is the 'only guy they say she deserves'. This has become an on-going cycle of dark and ugly fighting that seems to feed off of the previous ones.

"Mom, it... It's happening... AHHH!... AHH AHH AGHH!" a voice can be heard at the far end of her house. Rachel runs with ropes in hand but is too late as she witnesses a half-boar child running towards the town.

"NO!"

She sees her baby boy in the same room as he shares with his crazed brother, and sobs to the mortifying signs of his painful transformation. Caught between two agonizing situations, the hero, still in her, needs to protect the townspeople from her older son's dangerous rampage and runs towards the town.

There she comes too late as the police congregate with the psychiatric doctors around a strapped delusional patient. She looks around at the devastation of his wild assault as she wonders how to convince them for her to take him home.

As he is howling and growling at the men who have strapped him down onto a guerney, the officers explain "I'm sorry Mrs. Logan, I know you have special permission from the mayor but he is now a hazard that you can't handle. Surely, you as a former hero can understand."

'Hero' that word repeats itself in Rachel's head as she slowly walks back on the same road she was frantically running across an hour ago, firmly gripping the ropes in her hand. As she finally reaches her gate she feels the unease in the air.

Tentatively, she opens her door and calls out to her daughter. Then, she makes her way towards the girl's room.

'She is not there... Where?' Panic again encompasses her being. She calls out again to her daughter as she gently pushes the bathroom door.

Her mind screams in pain as she sees a limp, bloodied condor-like girl, lying in the bathtub.

"I'mm...I'm sorry." Rachel stood frozen for a moment at all these hurts searing through her.

Then, as if watching from a distance, she sees herself drag a towel and wrap the open wounds that are gushing blood everywhere, lifts her child as she rushes for the living room phone that drops to the ground from her disorientation.

She leans against the wall for support and falls to the floor to pick up the receiver, she soon becomes aware the call is futile as the body becomes lifeless in her lap. She has lost another tonight.

The rest of that evening, she rocks her daughter in her arms- 'Go to sleep, my child. To a better world, where you shall be proud to live.'

The suns rays strike her face to the realities of her life- and the weight of her trials. She looks at the 'creature' before her and tries to look through her physical features to find the child within that is hers and is no more.

She carries her dead child to the yard and starts to dig a burial for her. The events of last night behind her, she has to search hard for any energy she can muster for she still has a baby child who needs her.


	3. Chapter 3

If there is a description of a perfect night, this night is one. The clean, crisp air seems to have been breathed from the depths of a lovely, happy world of unending love that brings a magical quality to the whole town.

A couple are immersing themselves in this as they joyfully make their way back from their movie date.

"I'm so glad you're happy", the elderly gentleman remarks to the woman in the wheelchair.

"Don't be modest, you insisted on a night out. I have to admit you do know what's best for me." she smirks at him.

He laughs,"Well, you know how to take my attention away from work. So the least, I can do is return the favor."

"Ehemm, well, I don't know what you mean - I just walked by your office door." She slyly remarks.

"Well, that's all you really need to do." He looks into her eyes as she laughs.

"Well, I have to say this is better than our 10th anniversary."

"Ohh, how?"

"It's just the two of us." she concludes.

"Yes, that was a crazy night." he recalls.

They hear a howl and the gentleman takes a defensive stance as he puts himself in front of her instinctively.

"Don't you see her..?", a desperate, tired man breaking from an alleyway shouts at the couple staring at him in confusion and fear.

The lady looks at her husband and then at the desperate man as her husband asks,"See who?"

The desperate man stares at them and steps forward, "Nooo. She's Here." He coldly barks at them.

The elderly gentleman steps forward, "Look, if she is, maybe, she's left at seeing us. How about you come to the Precinct and you can tell them about who's troubling you."

The desperate man darts his eyes all around and raises his hands up, "No. You won't get me to go back. I'm not an IDIOT. I'm not Stupid."

He slowly backs away towards the alley, cautiously watching for any movements in the shadows. "You're not taking me in...No"

The elderly man starts to pursue,"Hon, don't follow. I'm worried." Tears forming around her eyes.

He looks at his beloved,"We'll pass by the precinct. Hopefully, he won't get far and they can give him the help he needs."

With that, they firmly grasp each others' hands as he caresses her hair in comfort thinking how fortunate they are.

The desperate man tries to run through the dimly lit streets as if evading a pursuer. He runs wildly as he collides against the walls, and slams into streetlamps and hydrants frantically looking behind him. As he turns the corner, he breathes in deeply.

"You aren't running away from me, are you, Garfield?" Rage replies from behind.

He gasps as a cold chill wraps his shoulder. "I...I.. need t-t-to-o.. get away..I...I...Uhhh!." He cowers into a mouse and furiously breaks for the sewer at the street corner. He frantically runs along the slimey tunnel ledge as he feels the slime against his paws scathe each time he lands while he is taunted by Rage's haunting image in the glistening ground before him as the wind in the tunnel cries mockingly (or is it the wind?). "Oh, Gooodddd!" If I can just keep moving...as he passes one long tunnel after another. He can hear the flesh burn away the lining of his paws as he screeches in agony. Finally, he sees a light filtering down from a distance.

The light is coming from the streets above and can now be seen pouring through the far end of the tunnel, raising his hopes as he lifts his tired arms to fly. The sewer mists feel good at first as he can taste freedom now, "Augggh"; unfortunately this is short-lived as Rage has decided to transform the mists into acid rain scalding his wings. He tries to hold on as he squawks in pain.

Finally, he flies through the grate just to crash on the oil-rancid puddle, where Rage is now drowning him in the bitter murk as he gulps the grimey water until he loses consciousness and welcomes death.

He opens his eyes to realize he is not dead but in bad shape as his oil-soaked feathers is devoid of all the torture he's undergone so far unaware how long he has remained out.

"Ready for another round", Rage states from a lamppost she is leaning against. "I'll give you a 5 second start. 1...2..."

"Leave me alone! Please..Stop.. STOP!" he pleads as he is now sobbing. "..3...If I were you I would have used your time wisely instead of begging like a fool uselessly...4..5."

He jerks his head up and drags himself out into the form of a city cat as he sprints to the outskirts of town as the dark claws dig into his back and strip him of his flesh piece by piece. His nerves are on fire as he tries to shake off the razor-sharp talons, realizing the longer he leaves the claws in his back the deeper the flesh is taken; however, if he constantly shakes them of he gets many more lashes and soon the talons attack open wounds. He has no recourse until at the edge of the city, where he runs towards the oncoming traffic in the interstate highway hoping to become just another roadkill - instant death so he hopes.

However, Rage has not finished for tonight; he wakes again to his unending nightmare at the shoulder's edge to see scars as only evidence of this evening's torture. He staggers up and knows his bones have not completely healed from the impact.

He howls in pain as he transforms into an armadillo as he now runs in open desert. Rage has withdrawn her physical assault and instead has opted for a visual one. Suddenly, the barren, rocky land washed in moonlight loses its mystical quality and transforms into a desolate, menacing terrain filled with evil sounds and deathly smells as shadows of all horrors expose themselves to the only soul around.

His terror has no shape as it is unable to quantify his reality between his instinct to survive and his desire to die as he scampers wildly between shadow kicks and agonizing volleys that bring him back to his original position. After several hours of deciding between this endless, humiliating taunting to that of transforming into a hyena and make a break that would again commence the physical torture, he builds himself up to make that futile dash. As he transforms, he sees Rage manipulating his transformation and is so horrified, he feels his heart stop and the world darken.

Again, he awakens shivering to the crisp night air and ignores the brilliant stars, as a foggy light in a valley catches his attention. Yes, that's a small town's lights. Exhaustion wearing on his battered body - he has no clue as to where he musters the last strength to run the distance as he feels the shadows again closing in on him.

The diner and motel lights beckon him onward announcing their presence to the weary traveler. Tears form around his eyes but he still doesn't breathe in fear Rage is still planning more devastation for him.

He reaches the road that marks the town's edge and finds Rage waiting for him there. He looks at Rage and knows there is no end to his doomed fate and resigns himself to become Rage's toy. So he bends down and kneels to her presence. Rage looks at him in disgust and kicks him to the side.

"Go ahead and get a room. I've got some more ideas I want to test on you." He cowers. "NOW." He hurriedly runs with his head down.

Finding no one in the motel lobby, he walks towards the diner. At the door, he stops momentarily to straighten his tattered clothes and his dirty hair and to find change in his pockets. As he puts a shaking hand on the handle he holds himself up against the door ledge as he looks up in desperation and holds back his tears as he attempts to put some resolve back into himself.

He straightens himself up and walks in. His eyes adjust to the stark light of a spotless diner. He sees a girl buried in paper on one of the bench seats to his right as well as well as two older men sitting across each other on another set of bench seats lined against the left wall in front of him. He walks slowly along the aisle and sits on one of the fixed barstools facing the counter where a middle-aged woman with a warmth to her is talking to a trucker seated at the far-end barstool.

She moves down to face him,"Fine evenin' to ya'self. Wha'll yuh have?" He hesitates and considers whether he should delay getting the room and stay within the safety of the diner or not anger Rage any further and just get the room. Rage will still be Rage - so he seeks this temporary respite just a bit longer. "I'll have water, please." She looks at him confused. "Ok. Water, then." She smiles.

He looks at the two older men who have just stopped talking and they return to their conversation after he meets their stare and nods. Before, he goes to his glass of water he looks in the direction of the girl who suprisingly is still busy with her paperwork.

The trucker replies as he gets up,"G'Night, Louise. VERN!" He says louder presumably to the cook in the back room.

"Take care, Bill. When ya comin' back?"

"I'll be 'roun these parts sometim' next month, have to head north and run the Detroit-Chicago run. See ya then, take care y'selves."

"We sure will. We're not goin' nowhere" she replies mirthly.

The ordinary whirring of life is comforting to him as he drinks down the water. "Easy, boy. I don't want you drownin'" she laughs. "How about you try some of Vern's Chickun soup. Best soup for miles." He cringes,"I'm vegetarian."

"Ohh, I see. That explains why yuh so scrawny. Need meat to fill those bones - I'd say yuh look a little green, too." He is startled to awareness and looks at his skin. "Relax, child. yuh'll be back to yur rosy self aftah Vern's soup. He'll make a special one wit'out the chickun - ok?"

He stares at her and calms down. "uhh, thanks."

After the warm soup, he reluctantly asks about a room.

"Don't worry - he's used to being woken up. Just knock hard on his door." Louise informs him.

As he makes his way out, he looks at the girl again who now looks up as well and he sees the most striking blue eyes he's ever seen - he stutters and becomes flushed.

The rest of the night, he becomes a zombie as Rage continues the mental and physical torture until day breaks - only the striking blue eyes saves him from insanity as he fixates on their beauty and on hope.

continued in Raven's Realization 


End file.
